It felt like it lasted 2 and 1/2 days, but I think we are finally over it and have moved on to everyday nattering.
It all started quite innocent. On a spur of moment, I bought him a little egg spatula. It was meant to be a funny gift. He likes eggs *a lot* so what the heck, I thought, a novelty gift. It kind of looks like him too. I wrapped it in teal tissue and tied a hot pink string around it. When I gave the present to him V-day morning, the first thing he said was Oh Shit!
I laughed. No Big Deal! I said, You'll see. Well, he wouldn't open it. After a bit of com'on, he did and said (and I quote), "I thought we weren't going to buy anymore cheap pieces of crap!"
What a sweetie, huh? Then he proceeded to throw away the handmade heart I adorned the package with. I said, You Threw Away My Heart?! So he dug it out of the trash and gave it back to me.
Now way back when I was in 8th grade English, I was the best student at interpreting the symbology of the lyrics to music. When the Miss Newman asked the class, What does "I am a Rock. I am an Island" mean, I knew the answer.
When my heart gets dug out of the trash and is given back to me, believe me, I know what that means.
Just the same. Because I knew he felt bad about not getting me anything, I sucked it up and offer to cook a special dinner. Sure he said. Like whatever.
He tells me we have to finish our shopping (and he hates to shop), so we go into town. I'm thinking this is all a plot. He's got to have something up his sleeve. He's going to surprise me! We go to the market (which was full of clueless shoppers armed with big metal carts), and I feel lucky to get out of there without a lot of bruising. So I tell him I won't be but a few minutes because I have to run over to the health food store for blah blah.
I'm thinking if I leave him alone, he'll grab some purple tulips that I love, and I know he knows that I love purple tulips.
So 10 minutes later, I find him reading the newspaper in the parking lot. Hey, I said, That took forever. He said, It always does. With a sneer. And off we go, driving towards home.
After a bit, I said, You didn't get me any flowers, did you?
And he said, Oh I never know if flowers are safe around the cat.
I just looked at him. He pulled the get-out-of-jail-free card, "Si's safety."
I said, You damn well know Si doesn't eat flowers. That was Clancey. That was 8 years ago.
Oh, he said, I can never remember.
And still I made him that pot pie.
To quote Cary Grant: “Judy, Judy, Judy”. Not really knowing you at all, I will tell you what I think. Fist of all, that pot pie looks amazing! Seriously, that picture looks like it could have been taken from the pages of Bon Appetite magazine. Secondly, your significant other was very lame on V-day, but may I ask what you did to tell him how you felt? Not to blame the victim here, but you’ve been together for a while and the only reason anyone pulls that bullshit is because they think they can get away with it. I was once this cavalier about Valentines many years ago and let me assure you it was ONLY once because of the reaction I received. No one can throw your heart in the trash unless you let them. “If you lower your expectations, you’re less likely to be disappointed”… or happy.
ReplyDeleteJudy, I know it was a shitty day, but this story is still written with humor; I like it a lot. I also loved the one with simply the photos of the egg spatula - talk about a picture being worth a thousand words. And then I read that that was actually the gift - it means that much more. Funny. (A little sad that day, I know - but still funny.) And I wish I could have some of that pot pie.
ReplyDeleteJudy!
ReplyDeleteI came by to say hello on my borrowed computer..to catch up on your life and read your story!
Oh, my, the joyful journey of male vs. female brain. It was actually clever to get a guy a loving practical gift because they really don't like the foofie stuff they can't really use like we do. I think you were right, he may be upset you beat him to the punch this time. There is such a finicky balance between real love that requires nothing and symbols of that real love that require something to show. It's a quandry. We can all slip off our pedestals and these special days are when we women always set them up tall and expectant. I think sometimes the men just look at them and think "why do I have to climb that to prove myself to you?" and yet...yes, we really do want them to sometimes. Just to know they would. After all, we don't ask that they live up there you know!:)
Sorry to ramble.
Rbelong2us, Thank you for reminding me my relationship is a crime scene. I can even picture the chalk outline of my heart in the trash as I scraped the leftover pot pie on it.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, Thank you for seeing the humor. Imagine his surprise when he saw this beautifully wrapped package, figuring I bought him a fancy money clip or a heart shape frame with a picture of me, and he opens it up and this little egg face is frowning back at him. Priceless!
Alicia, Welcome back! Okay to ramble anytime. You have so much wisdom for such a youngster!