It felt like it lasted 2 and 1/2 days, but I think we are finally over it and have moved on to everyday nattering.
It all started quite innocent. On a spur of moment, I bought him a little egg spatula. It was meant to be a funny gift. He likes eggs *a lot* so what the heck, I thought, a novelty gift. It kind of looks like him too. I wrapped it in teal tissue and tied a hot pink string around it. When I gave the present to him V-day morning, the first thing he said was Oh Shit!
I laughed. No Big Deal! I said, You'll see. Well, he wouldn't open it. After a bit of com'on, he did and said (and I quote), "I thought we weren't going to buy anymore cheap pieces of crap!"
What a sweetie, huh? Then he proceeded to throw away the handmade heart I adorned the package with. I said, You Threw Away My Heart?! So he dug it out of the trash and gave it back to me.
Now way back when I was in 8th grade English, I was the best student at interpreting the symbology of the lyrics to music. When the Miss Newman asked the class, What does "I am a Rock. I am an Island" mean, I knew the answer.
When my heart gets dug out of the trash and is given back to me, believe me, I know what that means.
Just the same. Because I knew he felt bad about not getting me anything, I sucked it up and offer to cook a special dinner. Sure he said. Like whatever.
He tells me we have to finish our shopping (and he hates to shop), so we go into town. I'm thinking this is all a plot. He's got to have something up his sleeve. He's going to surprise me! We go to the market (which was full of clueless shoppers armed with big metal carts), and I feel lucky to get out of there without a lot of bruising. So I tell him I won't be but a few minutes because I have to run over to the health food store for blah blah.
I'm thinking if I leave him alone, he'll grab some purple tulips that I love, and I know he knows that I love purple tulips.
So 10 minutes later, I find him reading the newspaper in the parking lot. Hey, I said, That took forever. He said, It always does. With a sneer. And off we go, driving towards home.
After a bit, I said, You didn't get me any flowers, did you?
And he said, Oh I never know if flowers are safe around the cat.
I just looked at him. He pulled the get-out-of-jail-free card, "Si's safety."
I said, You damn well know Si doesn't eat flowers. That was Clancey. That was 8 years ago.
Oh, he said, I can never remember.
And still I made him that pot pie.