On Being Sad and Stuck

An altered photo of JW playing a concert on Dec 19, 2010 by Judy

After I read Amanda’s blog, Memeopolis, I made myself some lunch and thought about my own sadness and how it cycles and slurps up my days and makes it difficult to return to sleep at 3:14am yet makes it difficult to wake up and get up at 8am.

I’m not sad all the time. Lately it sneaks up on me through music or a remembered conversation. Also this Thanksgiving coincides with the six month time passage of the death of a dear friend, JW.

He left me his library, and even though I had a tough time participating in my own book club, most people who know me know books (writing, reading, making) are a big part of my life. So I was not surprised to receive his library. However, 36 boxes is a lot to deal with. I mean I have serious issues (and goat trails) with my ever expanding library, and now I have to decide whether I will add or discard his collections.

Some of them as it turns out (and this wasn’t a surprise either) are duplicates to what I already own. But the idea of selling or giving away his stuff is rather heartbreaking. I don’t really know what to do, and when I’m stuck, I tend to do nothing at all.