06 December 2009

No Worries: Anti-censor device coming soon.

It started with "Thank you." The typical response was "You're Welcome."

Not anymore and not for a long time. Now the typical response is "No problem."

I didn't ask "Do I got a problem?" No! I just expressed appreciation and really one does not need to respond at all.

Sometimes I even respond to "Thank You!" by thanking them back, "Thank you too and have a good evening!"

Yesterday I was in the supermarket check-out line behind a woman using a food stamps debit card with eight dollars left on it. I know she had eight dollars left of it because she announced the info over and over. The cashier was having having difficulty getting the transaction completed. Multiple telephone calls to a manager and multiples tries later, the cashier was now going through the transaction step-by-step with the welfare mom with two whiny kids who were licking sugar off sugar cookies and touching everything with their sticky hands.

Right at the crucial moment of swipe card, enter pin, and press for cash back, welfare mom hit the "None" button. Ah yes. Then everything went through like grease through a goose. The cashier said to the welfare mom that she didn't press the "None" button before and that was The Problem. The welfare mom insisted that she did press the "None" button every single time and rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me," I didn't say to the welfare mom because I was damn sick of waiting by this time and my censor was activated, "I've been standing here watching you swipe and enter your pin for the last ten minutes and No you did not hit the "None" once. And your pin number is 1924! (Just to prove I've been watching.)"

Welfare mom wearing jeans that were way too tight and snotty kids with $287.54 worth of junk food be gone. Now my turn. The young cashier was a tad distraught. She shook her head and mumbled "that woman..." Products purchased and I'm released with a "ThankyouMs.Yousavedfiftyfivecents.Doyouneedhelpout." Not even waiting for my response, the young cashier looks to the person waiting behind me and says, "Sorry about the wait."

Why wasn't she sorry about the wait for me?

The woman behind me says "No worries."

I felt like saying (but didn't and I really wonder when the censor is going to leave my mind because life would just be a heck of a lot more fun without it blocking all my sarcastic comments) "No worries? Noo Worries! Well, I was worried we might all be spending the night here snacking on cat food and M&Ms."


  1. You have an automatic censor..I love it..you should market that idea..make a million and retire.. I think you might just be a little like me:)

  2. Oooo...what a time you had!
    There are some days I really do feel like the "no worries" lady and truly mean it. There are others that I sigh really loud. I have no sigh censor...I need one.

  3. Connie, we is like this *snap* If only I could make a million, I'd give you some - eh how about a grand?

    A, I'm like a violin string some days. really don't mess wit me. Hah! Yoga helps.


Thanks for sharing!