12 February 2010
Happy Birthday President Lincoln
This long weekend (I also get Tuesday off due to Presidents Day) could not have come at a better time. All this week at work, I've been pining to retire. I'm not old enough yet nor vested, but that didn't stop the desire.
After 11 years I am ready to do something different. That's the way I am - a sort of ten-year careerist, except when I bail at three years, which has happened a couple of times.
And now I get all grumpy and impatience at work. Sick of excuses and sick of the pencil counters. My boss wrote the minutes to our last staff meeting, and I was Judy with an "i" throughout. Could she have been yanking my chain when she e-mailed this to the entire staff? Should I have "let it go?"
I don't know. I did "reply all" and stated that I've been Judy with a Y for a long time and didn't have plans to change anytime soon. I hope I used a light enough tone, but screw it. I know sometimes people have a "mind fart" and blow it. She didn't even respond.
Also it was the way she interpret my round table. Like I was trying but failing. Like hell, I am.
It wasn't until after I read those minutes that I felt so done.
It took them years to fill my position because nobody wanted to work in that town. Gangs and drugs and random shootings do not make a conducive working environment for a professional.
The woman who hired me has long since left the company. She saw my scrapiness - I had been an editor-in-chief of a newspaper just prior and wasn't interested in taking bull from anyone. I guess she figured I would do just fine. And I did.
I just can't deal with higher-ups right now. They have the upper hand (due to the recession) and use it to threaten the worker bees. When I found my work place vandalized this week, I just knew it would be another notch, another reason why the company should pull the plug - forcing me to re-locate or quit (which would save them the retirement).
I wish I could turn off the "work brain" this weekend. Maybe I will go make another loaf of bread.