29 April 2009
I Need A Vacation From Beeping Hell
I dreamed of a bird trapped in the house bleating for mercy, for escape, for food. Finally I woke to realize the phone was beeping. Where's the phone? The phone's right here and it's not beeping. What is beeping? The fire alarm. I just changed the battery. Let me get a chair. Not that fire alarm. The one in living room. I changed that battery six months ago. It's beeping no question about it. Just realize this house has a redundant number of fire alarms. That's a good thing. If you put good batteries in them. If there were ever a fire we would wake the whole county. That doesn't matter. We have to wait until the stores open. Can't we just poke it with a stick? No. I need to get a ladder. Rent a ladder. Aren't 14 foot ceilings beautiful? Not a five in the morning with a beeping fire alarm attached.